I’m still fleshing this out, so bear with me.
I’m certain I’m missing important opportunities all the time. Chances to make a point, better myself, be mom-o-the-year and et cetera.
BUT – I’m trying to seize the moments and opportunities more these days, and it resulted in a pretty important perspective shift this weekend.
The ex took off for the weekend with the new GF, and as it was a kid weekend for me anyway, this shouldn’t have been a deal. And really it wasn’t for the most part. He made it to their school orientation before he took off (better late than never!) He called them a couple of times. Mostly it was an average weekend.
BUT – 5 nights a week, he spends about an hour and a half with them – his week or mine – so I can work at a barn to cover Sweet Pea’s riding lessons. And this starts on Sunday evenings.
The past 2 weekends that the kids were with me, he has forfeited that time on Sunday night. He’s had plans. He’s been known to randomly forfeit this time anyway – but not really consistently.
Today is the kids’ last day off before school. He’s off work. Yet somehow, they’re with me while I work from home.
Again, he’s forfeiting time with them.
I have historically not been very understanding of this.
I want him to step up, say, “I am off and want to be with the kiddos, please bring them to me.” But he doesn’t. Fact is, he possibly never will. He certainly didn’t when we all lived together, so this isn’t new.
But this weekend – I let it go.
Mostly (hey – full honesty here).
It still rankles a bit that he’s off while I work with the kids here. But it’s okay. We’ve been to the pool, and out for dinner, rock climbing and for an epic drive in the past few days. We’ve had plenty of snuggle time during movies ,and tonight we’ll cook out before they head to his house for a spell.
If I’m diligent and complete my tasks – we’ll head to the pool again here in a bit (we didn’t even have access to a pool when I lived with the ex!) and that’s not bad at all.
Every opportunity that he gives up is one more that I have. One more moment to cherish this VERY limited time I get with them. Sweet Pea is 9. She’s halfway out my door!!
So – moving forward – as opposed to being frustrated that he’s not doing what I’d like – I’m trying to cherish that I get those extra moments with these boogers who have my whole heart.
It’s not easy. And I’m sure it never will be – though I imagine it will get easier. In the mean time, I’m trying to relish every extra second that I get.